HOW to make sure your relationship GLORIFIES God

Last blog post said a little,lets go a little deep...

1. STOP having sex. If you're having sex & ya'll aint married. JUST STOP IT! HAVING sex is SEPARATING you from GOD! God may be trying to speak to you concerning that guy.. but you can't hear because your vision is all clouded because you're in "love"-- you aint in love, you're in lust. LOVE waits until marriage. So first step-- go to God-- MAKE sure that God is ok with you even staying with that person. Real talk. HE is JEALOUS for you. If God is cool with you staying with him (and BOTH sides have repented and made a decision to honor God) then start this journey on the same PAGE (amos 3:3). Meaning you SET up some boundaries. STOP cuddling, rubbing, putting yourself in 1:1 situations and if it's late, you shouldn't be at each others house late at night PERIOD. And let's clear this up-- if you cannot STOP having sex-- lasciviousness has crept into your relationship. NOW you cannot find the breaks or STOP having sex. BUT you can. YOU will desire whatever you put in front of you & give your attention to.. so tell your little flesh to shut up & be determined to obey GOD. Remember, that man didn't PAY the price for you. Christ did. So he should keep his paws off your body that doesn't belong to either one of you until you get MARRIED.

And for those of you who are smiling as you read this & thinking.. "we haven't had sex.. we have messed around but haven't gone the whole way"-- well, babygirl, I'm talking to YOU as well. Do you think that God doesn't look at ya'll playing around with the SAME detest?! It's a MINDSET. .. "BE HOLY as HE is HOLY"- 1 Peter 1:16

And if you don't believe me that it's wrong to have sex outside of marriage, it's clear here: "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." - 1 Corinthians 6:18

2. Guard your heart. (Proverbs 4:23) STOP watching stupid reality TV songs, going to clubs, love-sex songs, pornography or blogs. DO you know that those things plant seeds in  your heart. Then, you wonder why you want to live it out & be sexual with  your guy! SO stop being all sexual as you sing & dance a beyonce song to your guy. Even IF you're joking. Men are visual & their APPLIANCES work. WHY test it out?

3. Actions. Showing up half naked or a lot of times some part that are meant to be covered is just out of it. You will definitely get to be treated just the way you throw yourself all over him. keep the part that are meant to be covered covered,cos ideally what good is it when you finally get married that is if you will when all he is supposed to be dying to see is already out in the open.

4. Tell your emotions to shut up. So of COURSE you want to lay up, kiss, cuddle and do all of those things but at SOME point, you just have to tell your emotions to calm DOWN. When you finally take a stand & obey GOD in your relationship-- the flesh won't have a foothold in your heart-- THEN you'll be able to pass some tests. WHEN you honor God-- he will OVERWHELM you with honor.

5. GOD has to be first. This is so cliche. But it's the truth & this will never change. the above 4 reasons won't happen unless GOD is really first in  your heart. Spend DAILY time with Him, apply what you learned, serve in your local church, walk in love, pray earnestly for your guy, forgive whoever hurt you-- DO your part. When TWO believers come together with their hearts committed to Christ.. YOU both turn into a POWER COUPLE.

6. Spend time with God. THIS will be included in EVERY blog that I do. THIS will never change. When you stay connected with God.. you won't WANT to sin. YOU will WANT to please GOD. YOU WANT what you put IN front of your face.Get on board. Like now.

If you wonder why jealousy, envy, and being controlling is involved in a relationship, it's evident of WHO you let into your relationship. When you have sex outside of marriage it introduces feelings & unhealthy emotions. WHY even open yourself UP to statan? YOU belong to whoever you obey. Sounds kinda harsh right? ... Well, I didn't say it-- Titus 1:16 "They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good." & John 8:44: "You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desire"

I'm not saying this to beat you down-- I'm trying to CHALLENGE you to change your LIFE & chose GOD over a piece of non-committed meat.A relationship can either be a distraction that leaves you stuck in a ditch-- hurt, confused or frustrated-- or it can be a bridge that PUSHES you towards Christ. If you've messed up in your relationships.. make a decision to start new! Don't think.. oh, we messed up & God can't use us and we won't have the story that "we waited"-- DO what GOD is instructing YOU to do.  WE know what to do in our relationships, we just won't DO it. So today, I challenge YOU to make it RIGHT and to STOP putting yourself in situations where you're not honoring God. It's time for us to stop going to God every 5 minutes and begging him for our purpose and direction when we have a pair of thighs up in our bed that didn't pay the price for us. Step 1: Obey God Step 2: You'll get the next instructions.

Let's do this right.

God loves you like crazy,

Knowing What it takes!

Hi guys,haven't been on much lately, a lot has been happening. anyways lets kick start from wherever we left off.

Soo, you finally met your "Adam"-- your boo! And you looooove him so much! So much.. sometimes, you want to EXPRESS it physically by kissing, rubbing, cuddling.. or maybe even sex. YOU want to feel close to him ...BUT deep down, YOU want your relationship to glorify God. YOU don't want your relationships to mirror your past relationships but you can't quite figure out how to "court" or date .. God's way. You KEEP taking your past ways of thinking from the world.. into your courting relationship and you find yourself having to choose between GOD and your man, often. So you both have sex, repent and give that area to God.. OVER & OVER again. You're TIRED. You WANT to live for GOD for real but you aren't convinced that you should break up with your boo. YOU want to make things work but you just cannot figure out how to turn off that switch. You could be engaged and SO close to the wedding day-- HOW do you abstain?!?

Well, this post may be for you if any of the above applied to you

 

Dating vs. Courting 101

Before we even get into that-- let's just make sure that we're ALL on the same page. YOU don't get into a relationship with an unbeliever. (2 Corinthians 6:14-15). SOOO, if he says he's a Christian, but he wants to be a drug-dealing, thug rapper that curses every 5 minutes-- he isnt the one. OR to bring it closer to home.. if he goes to "church" but tries to want to have sex with you every 5 minutes, HE is not the one. A tree is identified by it's FRUIT. FRUIT of your salvation is a changed life. You can't just "say" you're a Christian cuz you go to church. Demons can do that.

Courtship:

• Takes the position that the two people have no physical contact at all (no touching, no hand-holding, no kissing) until marriage. 
• Many in a courtship relationship will not spend any time together unless family members, preferably parents, are present at all times.
•  Courting couples state up front that their intentions are to see if the other person is a suitable potential marriage partner. 
• Courtship allows for the two people to truly get to know each other in a more platonic setting without the pressures of physical intimacy or emotions clouding their view.
   
  Dating:
• Spends a ton of time alone which presents a ton of temptations
• Family isn't as involved
• Foreplay, not going all the way, going all the way, "test driving each other"
• No clear purpose-- just a lot of conditional dating & confusion on "where is this relationship going??!)
• Plays house. Calls each other wifey & hubby & does husband & wife like things but has no commitment
• There's still a option to date others, ya'll aren't totally sold & still "trying each other out"                       Just a tip...... stay tuned.

Ways To Nurture relationships.

 Excerpts from http://pmnewsnigeria.com/2012/10/12/ways-to-nurture-relationships-1/by Aidy Thomas. Enjoy!

Being exposed to the approach of Kevin Eikenberry about building or nurturing relationships has made a lot of issues become clearer.
Although most people think he plays around with words by trying to differentiate building from nurturing; I’ve realised that this could possibly be the cause of some problems wrecking lovers for ages.
This might sound like a little diversion but bear with me as it might beam some useful light on why you are struggling in that relationship.
We have all used ‘building relationships’ to portray the effort/commitment you put into making it work —this is fine. On the other hand, there are relationships which started by someone going out of the way to get the other involved.

In most cases, men feel fulfilled to be in this ‘chasing position’ because nature tells them hunting is the meaning of existence but when women swap and take the hunting role, does it always end well? I don’t know and would not want to say what I’m not sure of.
Statistics have shown that relationship birthed out of pressure or manipulation does not always last. Yes, someone has to make the first move but when the feelings don’t merge over time, it means; one person is driven by expected benefit or the fear of being single is making them desire or initiate a relationship to serve a hidden purpose other than true love and lifetime commitment.

Going into a relationship either by what you can get or for fear of being alone are both dangerous. Right in the heart of marriages are people who know for sure they would naturally not want to be with the persons they have chosen. Selfish reasons have made folks say ‘YES’ to relationships they know from the start does not have a future. Why would a guy push for a babe simply because she is a daughter of an MP, Senator, celebrity or business mogul? Are you marrying for names/status or your future together? A lady who looks at her biological clock and starts to draw guys close by all means most times ends up in wrong hands. You would have heard a thousand and one stories like that. If you are a nice person and someone is attracted to you and later decides to stay till death do you part; that’s okay but allowing desperation to drive you crazy is unwise.

Someone might say; “you don’t know how it is to be lonely”, “our society looks down on mature single girls”, “a guy is referred to being responsible if he is married”  “life means nothing to me without a man”, “being married is a cover”, “I’m dying to get into my dream wedding dress and enjoy that special day”, “so much pressure from family and friends is driving me nuts”, etc. You might have dozens of excuses making you want to escape singlehood at all costs but have you considered how painful a bad relationship/marriage could be for both men and women? Actually, it’s worse than not ever being married at all. I’ve spoken to loads of people who wish they were never married. The heart ache of a bad relationship kills you faster than loneliness. It’s worse when people outside think you are enjoying that union while you are actually roasting in there. Sometimes for the sake of pride and privacy, you don’t want to tell them what you are going through. 
 This, no matter how well you pretend, does not make the pains go away; it rather increases by the day.

Have you ever had the opportunity to speak to a man who followed physical beauty only to discover that she was totally empty inside? Oh no! He’ll hate the mere sight of her ‘overtly decorated posture’. Marriage is not only for looks; an intelligent, productive, virtuous, organised, supportive, complementing spouse would forever be cherished.
Love should be mutual; two people attracted to each other and committed to making it work achieve better results. You don’t need to force or manipulate love, just give it a chance to happen. If it does and you both now agree to walk together and share your lives, here are certain things that can help you nurture and strengthen your decision.
      
Communication: The voice of someone you detest is a blast to your eardrum —you wish they were silent all day but when a loved one refuses to have a word with you, it’s a bother. I appreciate the fact that words are not the only way to communicate; body language, gestures and sometimes ‘false silence’ could be counted for communication. You know what I mean by ‘false silence’? When you suddenly lose your voice when he/she shows up —you are too overwhelmed to verbalise your feelings but this happens mostly at the early stage of the relationship and mature into long gaze as the relationship grows. All you are doing here is silently analysing how fortunate you have been to be associated with them.

When I was younger, I wondered why almost every relationship book or publication would have something to say about communication but now it is a lot clearer. If you want to know the value someone places on you, watch what and how they talk to you: deeper relationship —deeper communication, shallow relationship —shallow communication. Even in ordinary terms, there are persons you would not want to hear what you are discussing with others. Why? They are not at that level of closeness with you.

People can forget what you did to them over time but the words you spoke ten, twenty, thirty or more years ago can still be heard as fresh in the ears/heart of the receiver. The words you say to your spouse play back in them and go a long way to condition how they feel about the union. Matching actions with words puts an indelible seal on your value for love; be it negative or positive. If you tell your spouse you love them and your actions portray so, they’ll believe you quicker than just words and if you’ve ever told your love you hate them; everything you do will be measured to see if you are manifesting the hatred or taking it further.